blessed

i can't even find the right words to say how i feel. i am sooooo happy. i feel so calm and blessed as if an angel whispered in my ear at night, telling me that everything is going to be just fine. i am at peace with myself and my life. my children make my days so incredibly beautiful, filled with laughter, hugs and kisses on my cheeks, my hands, my belly:) I wake up in the morning and i hear anjali singing in her room or calling my name. i walk into her room and there it is the biggest smile you have ever seen. she is soo happy to see me. what a treat. and viana giggles and kicks off her blanket when i come to pick her up. i am soooo blessed. and chris is doing so well. we talk on skype as if he was sitting right in front of me. as if there weren't thousands of miles between us. we laugh and philosophize about our lives....

i thank god for all i have, my husband and my children, our families and friends.

the deployment is going by so fast. i hear birds singing in the morning, they let me know that spring is just around the corner and june is not so far away anymore. i can not wait to hold him again. i can't wait...

i keep busy with coffees, as usual. also the weather is getting better and we can go for walks. i loooooove spring, well almost spring. being more active helps me lose weight too. i have lost 15 lbs since new years. i am counting weight watchers points and eat soup for dinner. i make a new batch every other day. yummyyy.

my friends and i are going to ramstein tomorrow to hang out at the mall, ha ha. i just need to get out of town so i am really excited! well i better get to bed soooo i love you and

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chinese food

rocks, especially when its an all you can eat bufett! It was awesome. Claudia, Tammy and i took our kids out for dinner on Vday. we all had a lot of fun. When i came home, the babies were so tired and went to bed right away. i then talked to chris a little but he wasn't in a good mood so we only talked for an hour. i think he really misses us now. i have gotten used to him being gone. i hardly ever get upset about it anymore, we even have his leavedates now so that makes it a lot easier too. it looks like we are staying in germany for that. the tickets for florida are still soooo expensive and now that i have a sitter we can have plenty alone time too. i would love to go though even though flying by myself with two children has to suck. we will see. maybe the ticket get cheaper and after all i have tons of friends to help me get on the plane and when i get there mami is gonna be there. i miss her. ugh......... its snowing again. it drives me nuts. i have to take viana to the doctor today to get her shots...chris usually does that because i start crying when they do that. i can't help it. but today its gonna be me...do not like it.

other than that i don't have much going on. i think i'm gonna bake cookies for chris....

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hellooooooooo

so, the party was good, i found a new friend and to celebrate, we went on a date at yours for the best chickenwings i have ever had. they are sooooooooooooo yummy. so yummy, i had to go back yesterday with claudia and kayla. we took the kids to the faschingparade downtown. there were rides and loooooots of candy. anjali had a blast and the chickenwings afterwards made her day complete. i wish chris could have been there but he has to deal with stinky costumers at the gym in baghdad. he is not very happy with that job anymore so he will go back to the motorpool on monday.

today is valentines day. i have never been obsessed with it like many other women but last year we actually got a hotelroom, had a fabulous dinner at this super awesome restaurant and then went dancing....so this year is the complete opposite.
i miss you honey!!!!!!!!!
there was suppose to be another parade but it snowed a ton last night so i don't know whats gonna happen now. I could bake a cake, but despite my love for chickenwings i keep losing weight and i don't want to push it...maybe....i could..mh. i guess i'll just call the girls and see what they have to say.

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deployment blues

i stopped counting the days and i don't even know how long he has been gone anymore. i guess that's a good thing. he has been gone a while and there is till an even longer while to go. yep. chris is doing really good though. he runs the gym and is enjoying it a lot. he has got a lot of people around him all the time and stays super busy. i stay busy too, that coffee today....ahhhhhhhhhh lol. everybody is coming. should be fun. i love to have my friends around. we are all in the same boat and time flys when we are together.

so i better get going and babyproof this house, i'll tell u all about the coffeeparty later:)

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i went home

and i really shouldnt have. its the same old story...me thinking i could depend on my family but in the end thats just not how it is. they are just what they are and that will never change. so thats that. i just have to get it into my head and not forget!!!!!

i did find a babysitter though and thats superawesome!!!! she is german, 19 years old and speaks perfect english. she is soooo nice and not too expensive. i am thrilled. she watched the kids saturday night and i went out with a couple girls. i had fun but was supertired the next day. it all went well. my babies never knew i was gone:) chris bday was sunday and we couldnt even talk. that sucked. but i dont think it effected him much. i think he has gotten used to being over there. now all i have to do is get used to being here. ha ha ha. by myself. i wish i could move in with family in the states. at least they care. except that great fatherinlaw of mine.... i call him my monsterinlaw. oh well. i think he just hates women in general. i best stay away from him too!
boy my life is boring....so i am hosting a coffee on thursday. i invited 12 ladies plus kids i must have been crazy....but i havent met half of them. we all met online on militarymoms.com. so i am excited about that.

anjali is getting better with her abcs and viana weighs 21 lbs....yep....thats big!

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snowing again

and i dont think its gonna stop anytime soon. its crazy out there. so last thursday i finally went to ikea and got tons of really cool stuff for anjali. i guess i didn't really think about the fact that i had to carry it all upstairs by myself....well. we got home and i took the kids up, changed and fed them. i then went back down and started bringing all the stuff up....except that one dresser. well it was still in the box and sooo heavy but i am not shy so i started ringing my neihbors doorbell. no answer. so i tried the next....i even went to the house next door and tried everybody!!!! no luck. meanwhile i was getting soooo freaking cold and a little desperate. in the end i had to bring that box up by myself. and i did it! yep! i have bruises on my arms now but i did it. trying to put that thing together was another story. i realized, i never had to put anything together. ever. so that took forever. i cursed ikea and the army and ikea and the army some more for taking my very much missed chris away from me. but i got it done and anjali loves her new room and thats all that matters. i am in YES I CAN mode now....

all that work really kicked my butt though. i was soo lazy over the weekend. tired, exhausted, fed up. i was getting so depressed. thinking i could never do it all by myself without any help....but i snapped out of it. i am ok. i got to talk to chris and we came to the conclusion that i need help. thats all it is. the kids are soo good. anjali listens so well and viana is the best baby ever, but to never ever get a break is what got to me. it was just a little bit too much. so i need a sitter. so i could at least get groceries without having to bring the kids. they occupy the whole shopping cart...so you can imagine how sucky that is..i buy one pack of diapers and the cart is full....

there are plenty of german sitters but they charge euros and euros are expensive so now i am trying to find an american one..wish me luck and

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