really??

i read my last post and it made me feel a little better, but only a little. i woke up this morning and couldn't breathe. i have asthma....had it for over 20 years but i guess it got worse over the past couple of weeks. i've been putting it off to go see a doctor. its just not one of my favorite things to do, sitting in the waiting area for hours only to be seen by an oh so competent military doctor....
well i had to go today. she was not a doctor but a nurse practitioner, what the hell is that anyway?? oh she is like a doctor. ok so she is a nurse?? no, no she is like a doctor. whatever. did she run out of money before she could become a REAL doctor?? sorry, its nothing personal.... she was nice and super worried. turns out that my asthma has gotten really bad and maybe i have pneumonia or even something worse....but not so fast. we have to do some tests first. so the army likes to do tests at their very own facilities. i understand. there is this great army hospital an hour and a half away. uh... excuse me?? my husband is deployed, i have two children, one of them teething and the other one with the worst case of terrible twos the world has ever seen and you expect me to go where??? uh...no! she understands. good for her. so they did an x-ray today and i have to go back tomorrow to pick up a referral to be seen by a doctor on the economy. jeez i hope i am not so sick. what would i do if its something bad anyway? its not like i can take the day off to be sick and chris is in freaking iraq.
what is he doing there anyway. he fixes the generals truck....all day...thats what he does. at least he sounds fine. he seems to have fun with the guys and he loves going to the gym...

i guess i am ok too. i am only exhausted. sick and tired of this deployment and spring doesn't make it better. i guess i got the deployment blues going on. I don't even know what happened. i felt just fine only a few days ago and now i am sitting here all upset...
It truly is a love and hate thing with the army. i love being an army wife. i am cutout for this life and most of the time i can not even see ourselves getting out and living a normal life...a normal life ha ha ha. army strong!!!!!!hooah!!!! yaaaayyyyyyy. YES I CAN!!! oh boy...i better go to bed before i get worse. good night and

say a prayer