today was a good day.

its 9.23 pm and i am soooooooooooo tired. i got a lot done today. i took the kids to the px, to the foodcourt, to get a movie and groceries. when we got home i had just enough time to put the groceries away. we were invited over saras house for coffee. sara is an armywife too but her husband gets to stay here until she gives birth to her second son in about 4 weeks. her son benji is anjalis best friend. they are the same age and love to play with each other which works out great for sara and i. i love to hang out with her and talk about everybody and everything. just the thing bored housewives do;)
i also talked to chris numeral times throughout the day so that was really nice too. i got to see his new home on webcam. its small but i think he can make it real cozy. the connection is much better too now that he is on liberty. he seems ok over there so that makes me feel a whole lot better about it all. now that he has internet in his room, we can talk whenever we like. i am happy. i think we can make it!!!!

i have to go to bed, dear reader. more tomorrow.
say a prayer.

day two

when i woke up this morning i really missed him, i miss him right now. the babies are in bed. the house cleaned, all my laundry washed. limi and marcy ( my 14 yearold brother and his best friend) are watching tv.
take a deep breath, it will be ok. right? i started this blog so it would help me let my feelings out. so feelings, come out!!!!! i'm crying.

i don't really miss picking up after chris. i just know i won't have to do it for such a long time that it breaks my heart. thats so silly. makes me laugh writing about it. there is less laundry too. so thats pretty cool. i can cook whatever i like. lots of veggies. i am not a big meateater, unlike my sweet christopher.

god, do i love him. we met in march 2005. he had just joined the army and got stationed in baumholder, germany. i had moved there only 6 months earlier. i was fed up with my job and the big city life. i had a friend in baumholder and after visiting a couple of times i decided to move and take a break from it all. great decision:)
chris and i met and became friends and soon after, a couple. Over the next few months he had to go away for training for weeks on end. he was preparing for his first deployment to iraq. when we fell in love he told me: i am a soldier, i will have to go away often but i would love to give this a try. we gave it a try:) he left for iraq on nov 13th 2005. the following april he came home for two weeks and proposed. he fell on one knee and asked me to marry him. i was so in shock, grabbed him and pulled him up. what do you mean, i said. are you sober?? He put his hands on my shoulders and said, i want to marry you. he went down on his knee again and asked: helen amira, will you be my wife? YES!!!!!! on Nov 13th 2006 my love came home from iraq, on dec.1st we married and only 3 weeks later we found out that i was carrying our first child.

Here we are three years later. so in love. with anjali and viana to make our lives complete. i am truly blessed. thank you lord.
protect my love and let him come home safe.

say a prayer.

day one almost over

the babies are in bed and i am soooooooooooo tired. being worried makes me tired i guess. i just got done talking to chris. skype worked ok. so handsome his computerface, i wanna meet the guy in real life. i let him know that a text costs 46 eurocents, absolutely ridiculous if you ask me. i know im not being asked. asked to pay...thats all. anyway. he is doing fine. i let anjali talk to him, she freaked out when he said goodbye. she is only two and doesn't understand that even after an entire day of waiting for daddy she only gets to talk to the guy on the computer. how sucky is that. And what for?? I know i should not get into that but eventually i will. i am sooo proud of chris, i really am. i love the army too ( you kinda have to to live this life) . i am proud to be an armywife, a real one!!! but the war over in iraq is just a crock of shit. excuse my french. i am toooo tired. i wanna sleep. i start to miss the guy. i realize i'm not gonna see him for a looong time. say a prayer.

today, i really hate the army

today i really hate the army. I woke up alone and didn't really know where my husband was. i dropped him off last night. there were tourbusses, lots of soldiers, fathers hugging their children, wives crying, children screaming. thousands of soldiers, stationed in wiesbaden, germany getting ready to deploy to iraq. chris had to go to. he kissed me on my forehead, said he loved me and left. its not our first time. we've been here before. but we weren't married then, didn't have any children. didn't know how sucky it is to be seperated for a year. Yeah it does suck! Let me tell you again. It sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!But we will be ok. Chris has sent a Text, he has arrived in Baghdad.