and i dont think its gonna stop anytime soon. its crazy out there. so last thursday i finally went to ikea and got tons of really cool stuff for anjali. i guess i didn't really think about the fact that i had to carry it all upstairs by myself....well. we got home and i took the kids up, changed and fed them. i then went back down and started bringing all the stuff up....except that one dresser. well it was still in the box and sooo heavy but i am not shy so i started ringing my neihbors doorbell. no answer. so i tried the next....i even went to the house next door and tried everybody!!!! no luck. meanwhile i was getting soooo freaking cold and a little desperate. in the end i had to bring that box up by myself. and i did it! yep! i have bruises on my arms now but i did it. trying to put that thing together was another story. i realized, i never had to put anything together. ever. so that took forever. i cursed ikea and the army and ikea and the army some more for taking my very much missed chris away from me. but i got it done and anjali loves her new room and thats all that matters. i am in YES I CAN mode now....
all that work really kicked my butt though. i was soo lazy over the weekend. tired, exhausted, fed up. i was getting so depressed. thinking i could never do it all by myself without any help....but i snapped out of it. i am ok. i got to talk to chris and we came to the conclusion that i need help. thats all it is. the kids are soo good. anjali listens so well and viana is the best baby ever, but to never ever get a break is what got to me. it was just a little bit too much. so i need a sitter. so i could at least get groceries without having to bring the kids. they occupy the whole shopping cart...so you can imagine how sucky that is..i buy one pack of diapers and the cart is full....
there are plenty of german sitters but they charge euros and euros are expensive so now i am trying to find an american one..wish me luck and
say a prayer
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