aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

its past nine and the kids just won't sleep. i am sooo upset. i had to stop my workout several times and now i've had it. enough. they won't go to sleep anyway. i have to go and tuck them back in every other minute anyway. might as well just stop trying to work out and stay fat. that's right. i give up. at least for tonight. i ate super good today. i ate the points i was supposed to and wasn't even hungry. very good. so that part of my diet is working well but i really want to work out!!!! so tomorrow i will try to hit the gym after i drop off anjali at her playgroup. *sigh* i wish chris was here. things would be soo much easier. the other day viana puked out an entire meal all over me and the couch, after me and her both had taken a bath.....i had to do it all over again and clean up the mess with both babies crying their heads off.....i really missed chris then. today, anjali got a jar of pickles out of the fridge (she just learned to open the fridgedoor) and dropped it on the kitchen floor..... i really missed chris then too.
we got to talk to him a little bit today but he was supposed to come back on in the evening. so far, no chris. i don't think he is going to come on anymore. i will go to bed soon anyway, i am exhausted. it's not easy with the two monsters. but i might be able to go out on friday. norina said she has time to babysit so i might give it a try. god knows i need a break.
they keep waking up.... whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??????????????????? i am gonna go shoot myself, see you later.....

say a prayer