good morning, dear reader

i woke up in a winterwonderland this morning. there is snow everywhere and for a second i get sooo excited to go outside and i want to wake chris and everybody else!!!!!! wake uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!!!!!!!!!!!!! it snowed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel silly. how could i forget? but i really did. i now remember clearly that he won't be able to play with us. i miss him so much. i wish he was here. i felt so confident the first couple of days and now i feel like i can't be without him another second. i wanna pack my children and start walking. i miss you angel, i miss you so much. its probably just now sinking in that he will not come home for a very long time.

nuremberg was fun, a little fun. we got there and the babies were extremely cranky. i was exhausted. i had had only very little sleep and the drive had made things worse. it was good to see everybody but all i could think of was chris. i hadn't heard from him and it was almost six at night. when i finally had the kids in bed i still couldn't sleep bacause i worried about chris. so i sat there. tired and worried. i text him several times but no reply. when he finally text me to say that he is fine, it was 11 pm. i went to bed. anjali and i shared a huge bed but she would toss and turn all night and wake every time she bumped into me. at five in the morning i finally had enough. i turned all the lights on, dressed my kids and drove home.

its good to be back. i gave the house a thorough cleaning, took a bath with the babies and got a good night sleep. so.... back to the snow. i guess we could play by ourselves, i guess we will have to. i am now waiting for chris to come online. i haven't seen him since new years eve. we could only exchange a few texts. he told me last night he had to go to the range today so i probably won't catch him until tonight but i still come into the computer room every couple minutes to check. to make sure the computer is still working properly, to make sure the speakers work ok, just in case he buzzed me....

Oh well, i guess i will get going. anjali is invited to a birthday party and i still have to get a gift....off i go. hugs for you, my dear reader and
say a prayer.