bedtime thoughts

anjali had a blast at the party and it was the most wonderful thing to watch her. i feel so blessed when i look at my little girl. how beautiful she is and how much she looks like her father. i am thankful for my children and when i look at them i feel close to chris too. i got to talk to him earlier. he is getting real busy now. he has to fix all different kinds of vehicles for the iraqi army and he says they don't really take good care of the equipment. its good that he stays busy, it makes time go by faster. i hope he can come online earlier tommorrow so he can talk to anjali. he played with viana a little bit today. she stays up a little longer than anjali. he has a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge smile on his face when i hold viana close to the webcam. i feel so bad he can't hold her. but it's only a year right? maybe this is the last time we have to be seperated. sometimes i wish we would just get out the army but thats scary too. this is the only life we know. its a great life and we are cut out for it too. we love to move and redecorate our home. we have no problem making friends. chris loves his job and is very dedicated. he makes me soooo proud. its a very blessed life. if only there was no war. we can get out in 2012. by then the babies are both old enough to go to kindergarden. at least parttime. i could go back to work. maybe chris can find a job and we can buy a house and live happily ever after. or maybe we stay in and keep living the army life. but another deployment? my biggest fear is afghanistan. i pray he never has to go there.

things change with children. i wonder if its fair to them to move so often. or if its fair to them to be without their daddy for such a long time. right now i don't even know if we get to stay in germany until 2012 or if they will move us again. i want to stay. we like it here. the army will usually keep you at a place for three years but for some reason that doesn't apply to chris and i. i hope this time they'll let us stay. they are supposed to let us know by march...but who knows...after all its the army. i guess for now we will just have to get through this deployment. we will save as much money as possible so if we decide to get out the army, we actually can...

anyway, i lost two kilos. thats 4 pounds. 28 kilos to go....ha ha ha.

good night chris, good night aunt indiana:) i love you, and

say a prayer.