new years day

new years eve was weird, so many mixed feelings. i am so thankful, i got to spend it with chris. i sat in front of the computer with a vodka o. and we talked on skype for about three hours while the babies were sleeping. we played poker too. i guess we had as much fun as we could have considering that we are 2000 miles apart from each other. 30 minutes before mdnight the boys went outside to do some fireworks and watch the rest of the city do theirs. i love fireworks and i really wanted to go but it was raining and i didn't want to be without chris. when the clock struck midnight, i got sooo emotional. i wish i could have hugged him, kissed him. i started to cry a little but chris has a huuuuge smile on his face and i can't help but feel thankful for having him in my life. i am confident that the new year will bring soo much joy. our children are going to grow bigger, our love will grow stronger and soon enough i will have chris back here with me. i can't wait, my love, to feel whole again.

its ten in the morning and i have to make breakfast for the monsters. i am going to nuremberg today to drop of the boys and spend some time with my family. the crazy bunch. real crazy!!!!! so i probably won't be gone too long, ha ha. so my dear reader, i wish you a happy new year, and
say a prayer.