i am alive

as you can see, i didn't shoot myself last night. eventually my babies went to sleep but i laid there awake for hours. unless i talk to chris, i will probably do the same tonight. i think he is ok but i haven't heard from him since noon yesterday. that irritates me very much. i have no patience for my children, i only listen to half of what people say to me...i am just not functioning right. i really hope he comes online tonight. i think this is what makes deployments so freaking hard to deal with. it feels like life is playing mindgames with me. GO ON, CHECK THE COMPUTER AGAIN....COME ON YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS A MESSAGE...and i don't. i walk in here a million times a day...what if he left a message...but he hasn't.
this morning i did't go to the gym as planned. i had to make an appointment for viana to get another set of shots. so i go to tricare and they tell me they need all different kinds of paperwork. i spent hours at deers.....yay.yougottalovethearmy.

but i have to say i ate according to ww yet another day and feel very confident that on sunday the scale will be vey friendly with me. today i also sent out messages to all the girlfriends i have in the area ( not soo many) to let them know that i have a babysitter for friday and i need a date!!!! They all have children and jealous husbands, lets hope i still get lucky. it would really suck if i had to go out by myself. picture myself sitting at a bar with a drink, telling my sorry story to drunk old men....

yaaaaaaaaaaaaay as i am writing this and talking to carol ( what a treat, my old friend) chris sends me a message, he will be online in 15 minutes!!! yaaaaaaaaaay

so off i go, oh yeah i still get pretty for my love, even if he can only see me on screen:) make up and hair done on top and sweats on the bottom ha ha ha.

say a prayer